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Happy vs. Cranky
Mar. 23rd, 2005 02:12 pmThings that make me happy:
I'm a bit of a yenta. I like it; and other people like it too. R & J have been married for something like 15 years now, and the only reason they know each other is because I thought they'd like each other and set them up. I thought G & M would like each other; at a minimum, M, a long time resident of his town, could answer questions G had about her new home in that same town. Unfortunately, they broke up last year, but they were a happy couple for about 5 years. KC just moved to PT, and old friend MJ moved there about 10 years ago. I just introduced them via email. Again, at a minimum, K can ask MJ stuff like who are the good doctors. There are more examples. Sometimes you are really lucky, like R&J getting married, and others, you don't know, exactly, how helpful it is, but you figure it's probably a good thing all around. I get stuff back, too. Like, K, who I roped into my book group, gave my name to S, who was selling a Forester for under market value. Bingo. Good karma all around. I'm really hopeful that I can help someone get a good job, too. ::knocking wood looking to see how I can help.::
Also, I like organizing things. I'm pretty good at it. I don't do much of anything on a really large scale. The last thing I organized that involved strangers netted about 75 people coming to Mt. Tam for a drum circle that I'd imagined during a guided meditation. That was a long time ago, and was very cool. Mostly, I organize stuff on a small scale: book group, the theater-going group, rafting trips, camping trips, the occasional backpacking trip. It's fun. I love meeting new people, and if I can, putting people or things together who I think will like each other or the thing. So, if I know D really likes this kind of jewelry, or craft or whatever, and can give him or her it if that thing falls into my lap? Great!
It's the American Cancer Society Daffodil Days. I've bought so many daffs, I've got them all over our office. Seeing them makes it worth it, but it's really nice hear people say thanks! I run the blood drives; again, I want to do it, but having people say thanks really nourishes me. You know what? it really isn't too much to ask, either.
What makes me cranky? People who can't say thank you. That's really I ever want for myself in these situations, a simple acknowledgement that something has happened, been given, whatever. I don't need gifts, I don't need flowers, just a simply thanks. What really bugs me is when people who I know are on the computer all the time can't take a minute to hit reply to either say thanks or reply to an direct inquiry. If I make a special trip to give someone a large piece of serving ware, yes, I really *do* expect that person to write and say, I got it! Thanks! That's ALL I ask. If I have to email several times, and make a phone call asking, did you get it? cranky-making. If I send a box of something, a really nice gift that will be passed along to other people who will use it well, I really do expect to hear, I got it! Thanks! If I follow up the gift with 3 or 4 emails AND 2 snail mail letters asking "did you get it? Could you please do me the courtesy of letting me know if you got it?" and my inquiries are ignored for 5 months? Yup, seriously cranky making.
I just had lunch with an old friend, former co-worker. I make sure that office supplies would normally be thrown out at our business instead get to the inner city school where she used to teach. I had a big collection to give to the school, and she came by to collect it, saving me a trip, and took me out to lunch. Now, that's nice, really nice. Thank you is really all I need, but that was great. This person fell off a 40-foot cliff and broke every bone in her body back-when, and has the sunniest outlook on life you can imagine. Every day IS a gift. We were talking about the cranky people where I work, and she was laughing. "They are being their own perfect selves." she said. I laughed and said, I'm one of the cranky people, too, because I SO am.
Thing is, I know when I am doing a nice thing. It's conscious, the giving of my time, my effort, my work. I WANT to do it, or I wouldn't do it. But don't criticize me for doing more than you would in the same situation. If it isn't helpful to you, that's fine. It's so fine, I don't know how I could emphasize it more. But the least you can do is say thanks just to ackowledge the effort. That's all I ask: saying thanks.
I'm a bit of a yenta. I like it; and other people like it too. R & J have been married for something like 15 years now, and the only reason they know each other is because I thought they'd like each other and set them up. I thought G & M would like each other; at a minimum, M, a long time resident of his town, could answer questions G had about her new home in that same town. Unfortunately, they broke up last year, but they were a happy couple for about 5 years. KC just moved to PT, and old friend MJ moved there about 10 years ago. I just introduced them via email. Again, at a minimum, K can ask MJ stuff like who are the good doctors. There are more examples. Sometimes you are really lucky, like R&J getting married, and others, you don't know, exactly, how helpful it is, but you figure it's probably a good thing all around. I get stuff back, too. Like, K, who I roped into my book group, gave my name to S, who was selling a Forester for under market value. Bingo. Good karma all around. I'm really hopeful that I can help someone get a good job, too. ::knocking wood looking to see how I can help.::
Also, I like organizing things. I'm pretty good at it. I don't do much of anything on a really large scale. The last thing I organized that involved strangers netted about 75 people coming to Mt. Tam for a drum circle that I'd imagined during a guided meditation. That was a long time ago, and was very cool. Mostly, I organize stuff on a small scale: book group, the theater-going group, rafting trips, camping trips, the occasional backpacking trip. It's fun. I love meeting new people, and if I can, putting people or things together who I think will like each other or the thing. So, if I know D really likes this kind of jewelry, or craft or whatever, and can give him or her it if that thing falls into my lap? Great!
It's the American Cancer Society Daffodil Days. I've bought so many daffs, I've got them all over our office. Seeing them makes it worth it, but it's really nice hear people say thanks! I run the blood drives; again, I want to do it, but having people say thanks really nourishes me. You know what? it really isn't too much to ask, either.
What makes me cranky? People who can't say thank you. That's really I ever want for myself in these situations, a simple acknowledgement that something has happened, been given, whatever. I don't need gifts, I don't need flowers, just a simply thanks. What really bugs me is when people who I know are on the computer all the time can't take a minute to hit reply to either say thanks or reply to an direct inquiry. If I make a special trip to give someone a large piece of serving ware, yes, I really *do* expect that person to write and say, I got it! Thanks! That's ALL I ask. If I have to email several times, and make a phone call asking, did you get it? cranky-making. If I send a box of something, a really nice gift that will be passed along to other people who will use it well, I really do expect to hear, I got it! Thanks! If I follow up the gift with 3 or 4 emails AND 2 snail mail letters asking "did you get it? Could you please do me the courtesy of letting me know if you got it?" and my inquiries are ignored for 5 months? Yup, seriously cranky making.
I just had lunch with an old friend, former co-worker. I make sure that office supplies would normally be thrown out at our business instead get to the inner city school where she used to teach. I had a big collection to give to the school, and she came by to collect it, saving me a trip, and took me out to lunch. Now, that's nice, really nice. Thank you is really all I need, but that was great. This person fell off a 40-foot cliff and broke every bone in her body back-when, and has the sunniest outlook on life you can imagine. Every day IS a gift. We were talking about the cranky people where I work, and she was laughing. "They are being their own perfect selves." she said. I laughed and said, I'm one of the cranky people, too, because I SO am.
Thing is, I know when I am doing a nice thing. It's conscious, the giving of my time, my effort, my work. I WANT to do it, or I wouldn't do it. But don't criticize me for doing more than you would in the same situation. If it isn't helpful to you, that's fine. It's so fine, I don't know how I could emphasize it more. But the least you can do is say thanks just to ackowledge the effort. That's all I ask: saying thanks.