(no subject)

S's father died last week and the memorial and graveside services were Monday. I'd only known him as S's father. Though I knew the basics of what his career was, the particulars were in the newspaper obit and church program. What impressed me the most is that as Ass't Superintendent of the Berkeley School District, he/his team oversaw the desegregation of the schools. What touched me most was a man just a little older than me sniffing back tears talking about a particular kindness and encouragement Hal had given him in 5th and 6th grade, when Hal was teaching. Then, in a six-degrees thing, at the reception, I met the man who started Berkeley High's Jazz Program - Hal helped him get it started at the school. Much later, my nephew became one of their award-winning trumpeters, and Mr. W knew him, of course, and vice versa, I found out later.

An interesting thing about funerals is that sometimes you see a better, broader picture of the person than at any other time. My father died 7 yrs. ago this month, and his older brother, the following year. At the memorial services for them, people who I'd never seen before or since spoke about things my father had done that touched them. I didn't know most of the people at my uncle's, of course, and it was fascinating to hear about his life as reflected by those who lived in his community. Funerals are so cool, really. I'm a huge believer in the power of rituals like them, both for the observation of the close of a life, but also, I figure it's the Johari Window http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window. Just as there are things you can't know about yourself, family members don't know everythign about each other. At funerals, where people are invited to speak, you can learn about the other aspects of your family members from those who shared different common ground. I've also learned that it is wise to not have the family member the most likely to sob a lot be the speaker right before asking people to speak. I've been the wretched sob-ee, argh. I should have been the first, not the last, family member to speak at my father's funeral. It seems to make for a richer, warmer experience to have someone tell a couple of short stories, concluding with an affectionate and/or funny story that ends along the lines of "X really would have loved this/that," then ask for people's memories because it stimulates good funny memories and encourages people to speak up; smiling at a family member's story makes them relax. My uncle's was really, really good for that, and I credit medievalist cousin & her husband for the lead off stories. S's father's funeral was more like that than S's mother's two weeks before.

ION, now that I'm in a different part of the building, I feel earthquakes differently. I rode out the Loma Prieta in this building, crouched under my desk as law books flew across the aisles, and I know you can feel 3.1 and up earthquakes over there, plus the 4:15 PM bus that used to hit a pothole outside so hard, it'd shake the ground. In this location, I feel smaller quakes. The building flexes differently here. Today's felt quake: a 2.7, epicenter nearby:

MAG DATE LOCAL-TIME LAT LON DEPTH LOCATION
y/m/d h:m:s deg deg km
2.7 2006/08/23 17:50:08 37.889N 122.235W 7.2 4 km ( 2 mi) ENE of Berkeley, CA