Hello, hello, in case anyone is reading this. I have not been over here in *ages* and now I am quickly reminded of how much I have enjoyed reading the intelligent and interesting things that the folks on my reading list and following list have written over the years.  I am here looking for something in particular, and hope that I have found it, on this quick segue from paying bills etc.

What I'm up to:  my mother died last year, I might have written about that already. She was almost 97, so, not a surprise. I still have some things I need to take care of as executor of her estate.  Lucky for all of us four kids, the parents were able to leave some money to us.  My sister in Mexico has already spent all of hers and it's looking like I am going to have to loan her $10K because, no really, you won't believe this: she doesn't have title to her property in Mexico, after all these years and the cumulative hundreds of thousands of dollars that she's sunk into the place. She wants to sell it but she has to have clear title first.  My eyes are on the floor from rolling.  Okay, that's my sister-venting for the day! 

Merry Christmas,  HAPPY SOLSTICE!! I'm so thrilled that we will start getting sun back soon. YAY!  Best regards, javacat
So....my mother died in her sleep around 3:40 AM Sunday night.   Aldersly staff checked on her around 3 AM, as they do, and found her.   We are sad that none of us was with her, but the hospice medical staff thinks she just drifted off in her sleep. 

My oldest sister spent a lot of time with her on Thursday holding her hand and sitting with her. The next oldest sister is staying with me for a few months, taking a break from the heat and humidity of her home in Mexico  -- she's glad she got to spend time with mom earlier in the week.  My brother and his daughter Shawna were here over Easter. I spent a little time with her on Friday, before I had to leave to let Comcast in to fix the cable box. 

I didn't think it was so imminent!  She  rallied so well from Spring, when she went into hospice, moved into assisted living, and at the time, seemed close to passing. She was so strong. Almost 97, she had a good long life. 

So the commenting in a safe place:  the sister staying with me was coming unraveled the last several days. ::pause:: She just got up, at noon, which is good thing and it looks like she finally got some sleep.  She has been spending the nights obsessively touching-up old photos of my mother, and this morning, I discovered that she spend last night obsessively looking at the photos on my Facebook page, and leaving comments.  And modifying my current profile photo in Photoshop to make me look better (which I couldn't care less about. Take me as I am or goodbye).  Okay, she seems better, more together today, and I have to think about the FB thing. I didn't add her to my FB list until a few days ago, and it might be that my earlier instincts were correct. 

Got stuff to do.
Something my oldest sister said during Easter dinner surfaced in my mind today.  I said something about living in the Berkeley Hills with Roy, and said to the boys (the nephews), "I don't know if you remember Roy or not .." -- she piped in immediately, "*I* remember him.  He decimated my jazz collection." 

WTF? First, I'm certain that he did not. She has a history of false accusations that I don't feel like getting into, but I know he would never do that. 

SERIOUSLY.  We cannot get through one single event without her being some sort of a bitch.  EVER. 

Oh my lovely family.
Dear Sister,

Yes, I am taking care of your $275 parking ticket issued three days before you flew back to Mexico, because I believe that the ticket was unfairly issued. The first tier of contesting the ticket required me to do some legal writing, no problem. The second tier of contesting the ticket, asking for a hearing to appeal the ruling that the ticket was legitimate, required me to pay the ticket in full first.

I do not appreciate your hostile email replies to my inquiries about the circumstances.Your assertion that your good deeds are being punished because I asked you to please pick up the dry cleaning for our mother while I  WAS NOT ON THE MAINLAND BUT INSTEAD WAS IN HAWAII is bad enough.  The further assertion that  I am THE person responsible for payment of the ticket, because I asked you to pick up our  mother's dry cleaning, is an appalling FAIL at responsibility. Do I really need to point out that you are the one who chose to park your car in a disabled spot, however temporarily to await a regular spot opening up at an extremely busy location with high turnover? 

I remain continually boggled at your financial irresponsibility, and at your hostile accusatory emails.  No love, your sister
Dear brother,
We have spoken on the phone 5 or 6 times in the last month, starting as soon as I heard that you were planning to drive to SF from Penna. for our mother's 95th birthday. I pointedly, clearly, specifically asked you each time to let me know your exact plans, because I have been wanting to go away for the 2nd week of Nov. for 2  years. This year is especially provident for such a trip, since our sister is staying at my house until Nov. 16, and she could cat-and-housesit.  You waffled a little on dates, but last we talked, you said you'd be here Nov. 5.

On Nov. 2, I found out from my sister, who found out from our mother, that you are not coming to Calif. after all. THANKS FOR THE PHONE CALL, DUDE.

Dear sister,
I know Nov. in the Bay Area is cold compared to the surfing and fishing village you live in south of the Tropic of Cancer.  But I really do not appreciate coming home from an evening play to find you walking around in a nightgown with bare feet, your bedroom French door open, living room windows open, main thermostat cranked up to 74 F, and the heater in the bathroom running -- with the bathroom French door also open, It isn't that hard to close doors and windows when it gets cold outside, and to dress appropriately. That means socks and shoes or slippers.  Pants. Long sleeved shirts. Here's a thought: sweaters! Also, remember when you asserted at a cocktail party that you are an environmentalist, I laughed, and you were offended?  FYI, this behavior is not even remotely environmentally conscious.

Dear brother and sister,
Screw it, I found a deal.  I'M LEAVING FOR HAWAII ON SUNDAY!! 
Love,  your sister.
PS Dear sister, Try to not triple the elec and gas usage the week that I'm gone, okay? I give up on pointing out that it isn't, in fact, about the cost of it. 
I was just telling a friend about this, because we might do a similar trip, and thought I'd write down some of the better stories about my family.

When my mother moved to the Bay Area, I flew to Arizona, helped pack her stuff into a moving van, and drove her to the Bay Area. LOTS of driving, but it's pretty. Mom and I stayed over night in Palm Springs, near Santa Barbara, in Monterey, and then home.

The morning of our arrival in the Bay Area, we found out that all my mother's stuff, including her bed, was a day late being delivered by the moving van to her new place. We called my sister C-, who lives alone in a four bedroom, two-story house, to see if Mom could spend the night there, and then C- could drive her 10 miles to Mom's new place the next day. C- refused. She was insulted, she said, and hung up on me. (No, it doesn't make sense. It usually does not.)

So mom and I shared my bed, and my cat, who slept every night on my pillow, hopped onto my face at least a dozen times during then nigth, wondering whyI was on HIS bed. Then I had to go to work the next day, after basically a horrible night's sleep, or non-sleep, really. Oh the good times with this loving sister!



January 2017

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